Quote

Every cookie is a sugar cookie...A cookie without sugar is a cracker

Update

Ever since i started this blog I told you all (Oh wait I'm from Texas) y'all that I want to be held accountable for keeping it up to date, but now i find myself bombarded with snide remarks telling me that i haven't updated in a while. So I go to my site and update only to find that the person telling me to update hasn't updated in a while. Whats up with that???? In other news I hope to be reacquainted with my car tomorrow. Also the Eagles are not out of the playoffs yet they are what the NFL calls life support which means have to beat Da Boys and Hope Tampa Bay looses to one of the worst teams out there San Diego

Quote

These are some of my favorite Demetri Martin quotes

I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like 'Huh? What the heck is this?', but if it's in a fruit basket you're like 'This is nice!.'

I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.

10 %

Lizzy brought it to my attention that the events that occur in my life and thus through this blog are book worthy at some point in the near future. She is practically demanding a agent fee of 10% when that day comes which is OK by me, but then i though who gets the other 90%. At first I assumed that it would be me but then Ashleigh said that she gets half due to being the current inspiration that is my life. So down to 40% remaining here are my thoughts on the 40 renaming percents

Clint 5% cover
My Car 3% to cover repairs for life
Publicist 12% accepting applications
Donate 5% to the murdered squirrel restoration society
And hopefully 15% to me but I'm not greedy so if you think you deserve your share let me know.

Toon

My new header is Clint's depiction of What I would look like as a toon preparing to eat something, driving in my car, or me sitting in a dentist chair. You Decide.......



personally I think I'm in my car

dosent this year seem longer than most

I dont know about you but it seems to me that this has been one of the longest years of my life. Not so much in a pessimistic way, just in an amount of time way. Most everyone knows that this year is considered a leap year where February has 1 more day but very few know of the term leap second. Every so often, the last one was in 2005, The International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service decided to add 1 second to the clock in order to keep the seasons in proper order. So on December 31, 2008 at 5:59:59pm the 59th second will occur twice making 2008 the longest year ever. here is the source http://www.livescience.com/strangenews/081208-leap-second.html

Also I have discovered two main things about my life in this post

1 NERD
2 I was very bored in this last hour before heading to work at 4 today
3 I said there were only 2

Changes

You may have but probably not due to me changing it within 24 hrs the title of this blog now seems less vain of myself in my opinion changed from

Things that M@tter to me
this is a blog about my life and my world as it revolves around me

First quote

From the office

Andy: I’ll drop an ethics bomb on you.
Would you steal bread to feed your family? BOOM

Dwight: It’s a Trick question the bread is poisoned,
also it’s not your real family you’ve been
cuckolded by a stronger smarter male.

In the Beginning

In the beginning God created the heavens and the universe and at a much later date He created Me. Hi my name is Matt Horner and to tell a little about me I am 24 years and 4 months old today (why didn't you get me anything shame shame). I have two jobs one at the Pizza Hut in Saginaw TX as an assistant manager and then 1 at The Fort Worth Star telegram Delivering papers in the wee hours of the night. Overall I work about 71 hrs per week going to school full time, and it is very tiring. I imagine this situation will change drastically in the next month or so but only time will tell. I have always enjoyed blogging but have had a very procrastinated attempt at posting, hopefully not this time. Knowing that most people who read this don't really need to know who I am to date i will just give a brief review of my life in recent days. November was rather uneventful for me Ashleigh and myself had thanksgiving at My cousins and then also at her Dads house much like we always do. Then next week on December 3rd Ashleigh's sister and Brother in Law Clint and Larissa had their first baby girl Maylee Gail Simpson. Then Ashleigh and myself traveled to Austin to see one of my favorite comedians Jim Gaffigan to no avail, mid trip my cars engine samurai sworded itself in the oil pan with one of the rods. My assumption is it was due to my lack of oil change in November, but sources tell me it could of also been the timing belt. It has turned out to be a 900 dollar mistake currently and i hope to be reunited with car later this week.
My plans for this blog is to give a window to the outside world to know how things are going in my life. My overall objectives for this site is to.
1. post with minimal grammatical errors and typos (not really if i catch it ill fix it)
2. Be humorous at no corneyness expense
3. Post 1 -2 times per week
4. post random quotes that i have found inspiring
If you have any criticisms to give me about the running of this blog please post them in the form of a compliment, and they will be addressed in the order they were received. well i guess that's it for me today this is your host m@ signing off and I hope you have a B E A utiful day